Specialization..

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, and die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."

-- Lazarus Long from R.A. Heinlein's "Time Enough for Love"

For any of the readers of Sci-Fi, they will instantly recognize the writings of Robert Heinlein. This quote was from the hero in the book "Time Enough for Love." In the story, Lazarus, a 3000 year old man, has decided he has lived long enough. However, just before he dies, he is located, and forced to undergo rejuvenation. Throughout the story, he has many anecdotes and words of wisdom. These words of wisdom include things such as the phrase, "Rudeness should be a Capital Offense." Another of his words of wisdom, and my personal favorite is "An Armed society is a polite society." (emphasis mine)

As I have covered my opinions on an armed society, and I won't even start on the death penalty, I am from Texas you know! However, I believe that Lazarus has a very good point in his declaration that "A Human being should be able to.." I fully believe that any man (women don't get your panties in a bunch, we'll get to you in a minute) should know how to do all of these these things!

We, as a society, have moved into a comfort zone that we believe follows us everywhere. Our cell phones and GPS are our everyday tools now, and if dinner is needed, most people go out to eat. Kim DuToit has termed tis "The Pussification of the Western Male." Men, as a whole, have gone away from what has made us male, and differentiated us from the women. We have started to rely on technology, and a few "specialized" men who do our dirty work for us. The result in these last 50 odd years is an increase in alcoholism and drug abuse, divorce, rape, murder, robbery, and general crumbling of the foundation of our society. If we need meat, we see the butcher at the market. The computer is down, call the techno-weenie. Need protection, call the cops. Want a new shed, call the contractor. Kid needs amusement, plop him down in front of the TV and let the media bombard him with violence and sex. All of these things used to be the role of the parents, and more specifically, the father. Mr. Heinlein's list makes that abundantly cleat. So, let us take this list and look at it. Let's take each of the individual tasks, break them down and discuss why they are necessary. I have three biggies on the list, but we'll look at them all.

Change a diaper:
This goes without saying guys! You should be able to change a diaper, even if you don't have kids. We are not talking about just a disposable diaper, but also a true cloth diaper. Learn how to fold them, and pin them, and NOT THE CHILD! I personally have a rather strong dislike of the task of diaper changing, but none the less, I am capable of completing it. So should every other man.

Plan an invasion:
Although we me not believe this to be a necessary skill in these times, look at it from another point of view. How many times have we walked into the store or mall, and it is soooo packed, the idea of staying even 5 minutes longer than needed would make your head split! So, you tear the list in half, have the wife start at one end, while you start at the other, and you meet in the middle. Divide and conquer! That is one of the oldest "invasion" plans known. Guess what, you just planned an invasion!

Butcher a hog:
My first biggie. I would take this one step further and say a hog or cow or deer, even a chicken! To many people are ignorant of where our meat comes from. They bitch about prices, but have NO idea how much work it is to butcher an animal. I get all sorts of strange looks when we tell people that we love to do pig roasts! A couple of weeks ago, my Captain asked me if I had ever seen a live pig, let alone slaughtered one. My reply was simple, "I have personally slaughtered six pigs in the last 10 years." We must be able to supply our own food. There is a sense of pride when you sit down to a meal, knowing you butchered the meat your family is enjoying.

Conn a ship:
My second biggie. OK, not so much conning a ship, as just knowing how to READ A FUCKING COMPASS! DO you have any idea how many searches we do for the "outdoorsman" who "Knows how to read a map," yet are lost. When we find them, if they are alive, they have NO clue where they is or how they got there? These guys go out believing that map and compass work is easy! Jesus folks, my teammates and I HAVE to go through a yearly 4 hour refresher course, and it still trips some of them up! Get a clue!

Design a building:
Maybe not a building anymore, (too many legal aspects,) however, ever man should have some general construction knowledge! Design and build your own deck, or fireplace mantle, or SOMETHING! Once again there is a sense of satisfaction from looking at a structure, and saying "I designed and built that!"

Write a Sonnet:
Balance in all things. Balance out your warrior-pig killing-construction worker self, with the knowledge of poetry and song. I would add to this, learn to place an instrument! Any instrument, but learn to play it! I don't know how many times I have sat around a camp fire, and somebody breaks out a guitar and starts playing, then we start singing. You bond with people on a different level when you share music with them.

Balance an Account:
Back to balance. If you can't balance finances, you are lost, because, like it or not, money makes this world go 'round. Know how to do it on paper and in the computer. Don't rely on just ONE format, I promise you are a single virus away from disaster if you do! Oh, and just because my wife balances ours, doesn't mean I can't do it!

Build a wall:
Ahh... More construction! See the design a building.

Set a bone:
My third biggie. People, all of you should go out and get some first aid training. What's more, if you're going to spend ANY time in the back country, go get some advanced training, like a wilderness first aid course. Setting a bone is not as easy as Hollywood makes it out to be, and it is ONE HELL of a lot more painful! CPR in the back woods is my personal nightmare. Even though I have been in the situation, without my training, I would have been lost. Also, one quick note. Although your belt does make an excellent tourniquet, DON'T EVER DO IT! Please, go get some training.

Comfort the dying:
I would say comfort the dying, AND the living. The dying are easy, they are dying, you can't do much harm. However, the living, they are the truly hard ones to deal with. Especially if they are the survivors in an accident that claimed the life of someone they knew, or were with.

Take and give orders, cooperate, act alone:
This is better known as being team player! Yes, even the act alone part. All of these are related to how well you work with others. Some people are natural leaders. Some are stout followers. Everybody needs to realize there is a time to lead, and a time to listen to others.

Solve Equations:
Being an engineer by schooling, I can't imagine not being able to solve equations. Everyone should have, at the least, some basic trigonometry. It will make building the wall easier, and make map and compass work possible! If you do not, go to the local Community College, and take a trig class. You will find it is much easier now!

Analyze a new problem:
This would be better put as "Be aware of your surroundings." For you never know when that "New Problem" is going to come up and bite you in the ass! When people are un-aware of their surroundings, and they become an easy target. Where, if they had merely stayed more alert, they may have noticed that man following behind them. OR, they would have noticed that carload of gang-bangers parked beside them in the parking garage. OR, the stoned transient that is staggering around harassing people for money. All of these "Problems" should be analyzed before they are encountered, and each can be avoided by simply going back inside and asking the manager to call the Police.

Pitch Manure:
My wife's family thinks I am crazy, but every time I go visit their ranch in Amarillo TX. I always take my work boots and gloves, and expect to be put to work. As my Grandma would say, "There ain't no free lunch!" Besides, I really like working their ranch! Mucking stalls, worming the cattle, throw some hay bales, and you KNOW you have worked a good day! Sleep is deep and restful, and all the problems I have "back in the world" are gone.

Program a computer:
Learn a computer language. C++ is one of the most popular and powerful, but HTML and Java are not to be overlooked. Once again the local Community College is an excellent resource. They teach a variety of classes, some at night or early morning.

Cook a tasty meal:
Japanese is my specialty. However, I do a MEAN salmon too! The Local Parks and Recreation department does monthly cooking classes here. Check out yours, I bet they have a similar deal. If not, the local YMCA has classes on healthy cooking, and last but not least, the Community College.

Fight efficiently and Die gallantly:
HELL NO. Fight DIRTY! If it come down to you or him, CHEAT! Always remember "All's fair in love and war!" If I get into a lethal force encounter, you can bet your ass I am gonna cheat ANY way I can! As for the dying part, well, I would rather die of old age, but if I go down in a fight, it will be swinging!

Now, I said that I had something for the women. I do. Women, you should know how to do all of the above, AND know how to can and preserve food, quilt, sew a new pair of pants, set up a lesson plan to educate kids, and knit a sweater.

All of this sounds remarkably like what was required of a man in the 1800's. Maybe they had it right back then! If we look, they had little debt, big, close knit families, stable marriages, and low alcoholism and suicide rates. Personal crimes such as rape, robbery, and murder were very, very low. So what has happened? We have become dependent on other people for our basic necessities, and have used that as our defense when those necessities are lacking, rather than taking responsibility for OURSELVES!

I believe I may have opened up a can of worms.. More on this later!